Guest Blog by Talli Moellering
As the leader of a Women’s Clinic there are times I’m with the general public and I’ll hear comments that really frustrate me. One of the highest on my list is when someone is talking about being adopted or choosing adoption as an option and they use words or phrases like “gave me up,” “put me up,” “gave we away,” “I was unwanted so my mom gave me to another family,” “my birth mom was messed up so she needed to get rid of me.”
Please know, I don’t want to discount your feelings. Your feelings and your experience is real and part of your story.
BUT! Abortion currently ranks as the #1 option over parenting or placing in our country. Why? Our culture. Perception. Lies! Words! Phrases! “Convenience”
(Parenting ranks #2)
There’s several reasons why the adoption number is so low but one main reason is our culture, the leaders of our community, and individuals speaking in front of thousands using terms like “she gave me up.”
Every adoption placement has a story. Some good. Some hard. But if we want to change the perception of adoption, and we do, for the sake of the unborn whose lives are in danger, those speaking in front of thousands need to select their words wisely.
Placing a child for adoption takes courage. Placing a child for adoption is selfless. Choosing to place a child from an unplanned pregnancy is an act of love. It’s not an unwanted pregnancy, someone wants this baby. Someone has been waiting for this baby.
What if a leader speaking in front of thousands would say, yes, my mom was messed up so she chose a very courageous, selfless act, she chose life, and she lovingly placed me into the hands of a wonderful family that could provide and care for me. A family that desperately wanted me. My guess, they had been praying over your arrival for years.
If it were said like this, perception would begin to change. The young girl in the audience dealing with an unplanned pregnancy would have just heard a positive related to adoption. Wow! Now she might consider it.
Come on leaders. Let’s learn positive, appropriate verbiage. Help us, the leaders in this field, on the front line, at least get the courageous option of adoption on the table.
It wasn’t the focus of the message but it was still heard, I would assume someone heard a negative connotation. I pray she walks into one of our clinics so we can share the beauty of the adoption option.
Talli Moellering, the Director of A Beacon of Hope. Talli is a certified Sexual Risk Avoidance educator, a Post Abortion Recovery Specialist with additional certification as a Crisis Pregnancy Coach through the American Association of Christian Counselors. She has worked within the field of sexual health and unplanned pregnancy for 20 years and travels regularly around the Southeast sharing the mission of A Beacon of Hope and speaking to parents and teens. Talli is the mom of three daughters ages 23, 20, and 17. She and her husband David have been married for 25 years.”
See our two-part series from Adoption Month last year with Stephen Story of Covenant Care Adoption.
You can find it here